Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Tad Martin 6 (so far)

I am in the process of drawing Tad Martin #6. I am putting it together in Moleskine sketchbooks, which I refer to as "Personal Analog Assistants". I am posting the results on Flickr as I draw and scan them. Book one is completed and can be found here.



Book two can be found here 

Monday, May 16, 2011

Where is your God now?

I had one of these on Saturday. Reminds me of Johnny Dangerously's line, "My Mother hit me once. Once!"

Mother's Day has changed

I was in Walmart the Friday night before Mother's day when I caught sight of this shirt:

Wait, what? I want to ask you this; why was this shirt made? Let's think about this. This is a shirt that basically says that mom is an insufferable bitch. Who would buy something like that? You know who? Fucked-up people. People who have created a family unit in which laughter is needed to deal with the horrible mother-figure at the head of the dysfunction pyramid.
If a child were to buy this for their mom they would have to be buying it for a mother that doesn't see being called a petty bitch as insulting. That is a frightening person.
If the mother were to buy this for herself then she has no respect for her kids and husband. Imagine her on a family outing wearing this shirt. It basically says, "I am the ramrod and these are my little bitches". This is a woman that has developed ego and persona that is so self-involved that she has ceased her existence as nurturing mom, and begun her reign as entitled "Diva".
Or perhaps I'm reading too much into it and this is something I missed out on getting for my mother...  No... even if my mother is a bitch she at least has enough dignity not to advertise the fact on a t-shirt.

Friday, May 13, 2011

The Adventures of Tad Martin

My 90's comic series is now available for view on Flickr! Just follow the links:




Done with Facebook

I quit Facebook yesterday and people are acting like my life-support plug was pulled. People seem to forget that Facebook is a fad. It will only survive until the next big thing. Just like Friendster and just like Myspace.
Also, I don't like the feeling of being in a room full of kids who are all shouting for attention at the same time. Facebook is feeding into the national ADD. People don't talk or read anymore. They prefer electronic communication served in tiny messages full of abbreviated and misspelled words. As a nation we are suffering. Our fate is to become the perfect servants; dumb, malleable and unable to communicate on a one-to-one basis.
http://www.businessinsider.com/10-reasons-to-delete-your-facebook-account-2010-5
PS: if you want to delete your account you can, but Facebook makes it difficult to find the info. You can find it here. 

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

It's been a "banner" day

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This gang-bang isn't going to staff itself!

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I especially love the way they run out of energy around Midnight, and the cute way they have to pee all the time.
Oh and the fact they'll buy me things. Yeah that's cool too!

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...and beer-nuts and beer and pizza and hot wings. Pretty much anything cause of the lack of appetite restraint.

Who knows, maybe beer guts taste like chicken.

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They're going to need you to drive them to the hospital when their gigantic fake tits rip away from their bodies.

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Some of them even have TEETH!

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Wow, that's really funny because just the other day I was telling my buddy Wayne, "Wayne, you know what I haven't seen in Texas in a while? A fat woman!"

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What are you waiting for, you fucking middle-aged loser?

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Younger Christian girls AND older men? Now there's a recipe for some wacky hijinx! Let the kookiness begin!

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Details can be found inside... her snizz!

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Cool, I have my choice between those who want game and those who don't!

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Yeah, cause normally they're really hard to meet.

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Dammit, I was just getting the smell of crazy fucking bitch out of my house!

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Wow, she's pretty cool. Most women expect me to last at least 10 minutes!

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Over 40? Well, I guess they are. But they are also over 60. The last time these two saw 40 was 1940.
I could just date my moms friends and cut out the middle-man.

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Yeah, I don't think she'll find him in there...

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My guess would be that you use a knife.

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You can slice them with a fork!

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She looks like a Superhero that fights book-learnin'!

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From my experience, yes.

Advertising

Ok!

Nevermind.

Friday, May 6, 2011

If there were a hell for me, this would be playing on rotation



The lyrics would more truthfully be: "I am a mindless meathead that believes whatever the most insistently violent authoritarian figure tells me. I would be perfect cannon-fodder if I wasn't busy taking money from other blind subnormals by ...playing this guitar like a pied piper that leads borderline-retarded adults towards a dystopian future created from a clash of theocratic governments. The latter government being a US Fundamentalist Christian regime created by neo-cons to hold power through resultant fear-based voting. I love Amur-kuh"!

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Holiday


The tiny lights
on the plastic branches
holy blues
violets
greens
reds
yellows
floating in the darkness
of early dusk.

Cookie smells
wafting from the kitchen.
Mouth-watering
eyes held
by the
neon ribbon wrapped
presents.

The warm air
blowing through the
air ducts.
The melted snow
sogging the mat
by the front door.
Salt stains on
my moon boots
on my pants cuffs.

The wind blowing against
the window-glass.

Outside
the sound of
faint ticking
as snowflakes fall
onto snowbanks.       

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Well, that answers that!

Why Do Fat Woman?


Date: 2011-05-03, 4:15PM CDT
Reply to:
[Errors when replying to ads?]


Why do fat women think they are BBW?
_________________________________________________________________

Why do fat women what? - 45 (South)


Date: 2011-05-03, 4:37PM CDT
Reply to:
[Errors when replying to ads?]


because... women always want something they view as better. Men aren't viewed as people, they're possessions.
To women, we're just "stuff."
So, we have to be tall, rich, and maybe we have to own a Harley.
Every woman wants a man that all of her friends would want.
A great catch. So be it. Live and let live.

In the end though, women are like moving trucks. You don't move that much, so why buy a moving truck?
Monthly payments, maintenance and upkeep, parking fees, and insurance expense, for something with
very little utility.

Yep, women and moving trucks have a lot in common. For most guys, it makes
sense to rent rather than own.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Monster Mash

I found this website that mashes up Youtube videos that you feed it. I've been wanting to add the Video of this beautiful model (Koshka) with The Little Richard song, The Girl Can't Help It for a long time. Works best if you minimize the Koshka audio