I was just thinking, about how I discovered and became a stoic. But it would be decades later until i connected this thing i had been doing to an actual school of thought. Same thing with yoga and meditation. I used to have long hours of disinterest in anything when i was kid, so i would contort my body into knots. Some of the poses became ecstatic and I'd fall into a deep meditative state, (although i had no idea that's what it was) and in that state my conscious-mind would go into a rescess, and i would hear the voice of my subconsciuos, as though i was in a sound-booth. I had no idea what it was, but i was instinctively aware that Christian-thought would see it as what they called "demon-inspired" activity. But with my conscious thinking under lock and key, none of this concerned me, because i knew, from some greater pool of understanding that all of what was happening had a name, if not presently, then at some future time, or alternate-existence that existed all the same.
In that deep state, i would ponder things that a 10 year-old could not logically be pondering, which were (even at present) beyond the limitations of the scientific-method of physicists. And i would pack these understandings away, knowing that they would be somehow retrievable to me at a later date.
That said, along with puberty came a change in both interests and perceptual-ability, and i would eventually disavow what happened as "kids-stuff" or "fantasy". And it wasn't until college, when i started smoking weed, that my mind once again was able to return to that lost state of enhanced-perception. But even then, i didn't connect it with what had happened during childhood. I'd forgotten.
I didn't remember until maybe 5 years ago, when i started taking notes during my trip-spurned meditations.
Forward to last month, i was on a low-level trip when something i saw triggered an implanted-memory.
This will probably sound fantastic, (as if it already hasn't gone beyond that point) but i recalled clearly a time right on the cusp of puberty where my parents had taken me to some godawfully bleak psycho-thriller of a movie, which was digging its way into me, ans i did what i always did; i pulled my knees to my chest, clenched my eyes, placed my palms firmly against my ears (thumbs-down), plugged my ears with the tips of my pinky-fingers, and softly-hummed.
I went into my subconsciuos-mind, and was pondering my situation. One realization that i had was that there was a specific age at which humans would be old-enough to be invaluable to the economy, but not yet be locked into dependence on jobs for survival. It would also be an age at which they were still young enough to retain some part of the morality and sense of optimism of children. I also realized that such a group could cripple the system by refusing to participate in its evils. Just sit down and refuse to work or buy. I didn't know how they could possibly contact each other to set the plan up, but i made sure to store the thought for the future. All of this is taking place in my subconscious-mind as a series of overlapping full-color images. The thought went into a crate, and the crate went up, and rushed down a muticolored-tunnel, past minutes, hours, months, and years, and i felt it place itself in the correct location for retrieval at the appropriate-time.
And last month was when the memory unlocked. In a time, where youth are dejected, unemployed, and being used as acceptable-losses in dying-capitalism's last-ditch psychopathic effort to retain a hold. A time where these young-people are easily able to plan and execute a mass-revolt.
I went to work crafting a meme, that on it's surface seemed humdrum, but to a few perceptive 18-23 year olds would hit them as as the spark for something doable.
I posted the meme on Facebook, twitter and Instagram, at 4am (to make sure it would be the first thing on people's feeds when they got up) along with a caption briefly recalling my memory, asking people to PLEASE just share the post with their friends. And I waited.
And 24 hours later i quit all social-media, because not one person had shared the important post.
This may sound like a joke, or a story-outline, but it's not. Everything happened just as i said. And now I've realized, after 35 years of trying to tell people about vital things that they don't want to hear, that they won't listen. They are to selfish, stupid, or broken. I did the best i could, but I'm done now.
About 3 years ago i found out that the Latin-root of monster, is "munstrum". Do you know what a munstrum is? It is a warning, or portent to man. A thing born different as a warning messenger to man.
