Cognative dissonance

My bosses love me

For those of you who haven't seen this:

A story that just sort of petered-out

here.

A very angry ranting story from a 2006 sketchbook can be found here.

The things that come in the mail

"Haunted Horn" sculpture by Crankmaggot

I've tried it before. That shit don't work.

Not for your eyes

In the interest of full disclosure (and self-destruction) I direct you now to my sketchbook/journals which more or less capture the incessant buzzing in my head. click here if you've got the bawls.

Cocksuckers wasting time like squirrels with shiny objects

When all my friends left Myspace for Facebook I was upset. I had everything I needed in Myspace. But they had to go to the newest fad. Well, the newest thing of that "latest fad" is their timeline format. It's really innovative:

I mean, I've never seen anything like that before:

Oh, wait...

International Drunkard

A couple of videos I sent to my overseas friends.

Pants on the ground

FOR ALL OF U THAT THINK IS NICE TO WALK WITH UR PANTS BELOW UR BUTT, READ THE FOLLOWING EXPLANATION: THIS TREND WAS BORN IN THE UNITED STATES’ JAILS, WHERE PRISONERS WHO WERE WILLING TO HAVE SEX WITH OTHER PRISONERS NEEDED TO INVENT A SIGNAL THAT WOULD GO UNNOTICED BY THE GUARDS SO THEY WOULDN’T SUFFER CONSEQUENCES, SO BY PARTIALLY SHOWING THEIR BUTTS, THEY SHOWED THAT THEY WERE AVAILABLE TO BE PENETRATED BY OTHER INMATES. ARE YOU ADJUSTING TO HOMOSEXUAL PATTERNS MAYBE?
CLICK ON "SHARE" IF YOU WANNA JOIN THE CAUSE FOR A BETTER DRESSED AND A MORE EDUCATED WORLD!

 

by

Jey M. Glusman

Dear science,

Dear scientists, here is your unified field equation: ∞=∞
Now quit jerking your dicks and bust the 3rd dimension as a limit for 3rd-dimesion physical creatures.

It is

  

 romance=a prejudice of perfection

More you say?

Okay: My second book

Mom really needs this for Christmas!

I was walking through Walgreens when something caught my eye

Give them Mexicans some ears!

 

Mexicans love ears.

At long last!

The Negronomicon has arrived!

CLICK HERE!!

Don't be shy! Step up and buy!

It ended poorly

• 
  Nov 13, 2011 – 6:21pm

  The fact that you used the word "paucity" as a descriptor in your profile seperates you from 98% of the unwashed masses. Congrats!
  

  25% Enemy 47% Friend 75% Match Sent to jenbobx
• 9 older messages
• 
  Nov 13, 2011 – 11:46pm

  Well thanks! I think. I really don't have a great vocabulary, so word like that actually come up only because I can't think of a better way to say something. Brain farts = odd words, for me. :)
  
  I have to say, on your thumbnail, it kinda looks like you're being attacked by a falcon.

  Report this
• 
  Nov 14, 2011 – 12:03am

  DON'T REMIND ME OF THE FALCON ATTACK!!
  Brainfarts=odd words is better than brainfarts=odd Down Syndrome noises.
• 
  Nov 14, 2011 – 12:06am

  Hahaha! Well then I will make sure to not tell you what else happens during a brain fart. Oy.

  Report this
• 
  Nov 14, 2011 – 12:08am

  Hopefully it doesn't include regular farting.
  
• 
  Nov 14, 2011 – 12:13am

  Nah. Loss of bodily functions would probably have to qualify the event as a brain seizure (is there any other kind?), not a brain fart.

  Report this
• 
  Nov 14, 2011 – 1:40pm

  Although the resulting death from a brain hemorrhage would include loss of all muscle function.
  Are you into visual art at all?
• 
  Nov 15, 2011 – 3:36am

  Honestly, my interest in visual art is pretty slight. Architecture, yes (my first major). Paper sculptures... love. Sculpture... like. Photography... yes. The majority of things drawn onto flat surfaces... meh.

  Report this
• 
  Nov 15, 2011 – 7:39pm

  I take it you were one of those girls that never read comic books?
• 
  Nov 16, 2011 – 6:30am

  Wait... there are girls who read comics?
  
  I kid. If you mean superhero-type comics... no. I did go through a phase where I cut out comics from the paper and collected them. And then I collected the actual books that compiled the Garfield comics. Not the same thing? :)

  Report this
• 
  Nov 16, 2011 – 6:33am

  Totally forgot. I have a hard-cover collection of 1930's Mickey Mouse comics waiting in my to-read pile. Look at me--I guess I'm a comics reader.
  

  Report this
• 
  Nov 16, 2011 – 2:29pm

  ...blink. I have no idea why anyone would read Garfield comics. Mickey-mouse, maybe. The art was good, but Garfield?
• 
  Nov 17, 2011 – 2:59am

  Garfield is awesome. He's a total sarcastic wise-ass! And who can resist those big bulgy eyes? I'm surprised his popularity waned. I totally forgot how much I used to adore him. Sigh. '80s nostalgia. What kind of comics were you thinking?

  Report this
• 
  Rate her messages

  • 
    

What do you see?

I saw an ad for the new Disney/Pixar movie "Brave" and the Princess character struck me as looking very much like a young Brigid Brannagh in "Quest of the Delta Knights". What do you think?

 

An Observation

As I was walking around campus I noticed that all the students were walking around glued to their Iphones. I also noticed the trees, the sky, the cars, other people and the notebook in my hand. This said I was wondering if there will become a huge cultural rift between the tech-savvy and the techies. I can almost hear the techies referring to the Luddites in a way that the "noble-savage" was once referred to. "So simple and free". Kinda like how white Hippies. think of Rastafarians.

If this is the case then I can see the post-Millenial generation rebelling in the other direction. Becoming unplugged. Like Analog-Wiggers.

I for one think that this would be a wonderful progression. Nobody seems to think about the fact that this connectivity is not making anyone any smarter. In fact it makes people dumber in two ways:
1) The technology is only being used so that one dumb motherfucker can talk to another dumb motherfucker about dumb motherfucker shit.
2) There is never a chance for anyone to actually be alone. Solitude is essential to thought and discovery. If you never have a chance to sit and think without the aid of Google, then you never are able to develop fully as a person.
Hopefully the next generation will be able to look back at the empty-husks that serve as their parents, and ask, "What the fuck were you thinking"?

"Whattaya thinkin about? I didn't get your last text."

Would I be dissapointed with how she really looks? Naaaah...

Date to the Goth Ball? - 25 (Austin)

---

Date: 2011-11-02, 6:31PM CDT
Reply to:

---

Hello,
Is there any one out there that would be interested in going to the Goth Ball at Elysuim with me this friday?

If so, please reply with a little bit about yourself and a picture
I will send you my pic once I see you!
Hope to hear from you soon.

• Location: Austin
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2682281002

Definition: "Daddy Issues"

...

austin craigslist > personals > women seeking men

please flag with care: [?]

LOOKING 4 HUSBAND

---

Date: 2011-10-24, 4:10PM CDT
Reply to:

---

LOOKING 4 HUSBAND ONLY SERIOUS MEN APPLY

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2666820260

Just from the probability of sheer numbers I'm sure some of you have one of these

Update

I  wish I had a model for the details of musculature.

In Progress

My love of butch-girls knows few bounds.

Whatta ya gonna be this Halloween? Aw, I'm gonna be a stereotype!

This is a wonderful video by my buddy John Hicks

10/7/2011

No, Mom, we don't want any cookies! Leave us alone! Can't you see we're being doctors?

NERRRRRD!

Updated ballpoint kit

 I started with the idea to buy 2 more stainless Zebra pens. One for blue ink and one for BIC (clik-stick) refills, which are more dense than the Zebra refills. I went to Walmart Friday night and they were sold out. I had to wait until Saturday morning and went to Office depot where they were a dollar more each. I took them to Jo's and sat there figuring out hot to add the color indication dots to the clickers. I discovered that the caps were chrome and slid off the black base, so all I had to do was put a dot of colored paper in the chrome sleeve, slide it into place, and put a dot of glue on the end to finish. Converting the Zebra to a bic was a bit more tricky.

I had to remove the Bic refill from an ad-pen and cut it down to the right length, then I removed the base from the Zebra cartridge and put it in the chamber as the base for the BIC-stick. Later I got the idea for cigar-tubes to put the refills in. I drove around hungover on Sunday-morning, looking for cigars in tubes. I found a cigar in a plastic tube. I took it home and tried to remove the label, but ruined the plastic in the process. I later located test tubes at Oat Willies. That's right, head-shops now sell Pyrex chemistry supplies. Anyway, it was a fun project.

How modern business is conducted

 

Maybe I could get more than 1.2% on my savings if they weren't giving a million dollars to random motherfuckers that "like" them.

For amber waves of grain

I hope the parents spend as much time reading to them as they do teaching them how to "clean and clown". 

Yeah, good luck on that one.

Hi, My Name is Al! I'll Be Your Soul-Mate! (I Love The 80's)

Yahoo Answers

Yahoo Answers: A place where idiots asks questions of morons. Ostensibly because idiots prefer moronic opinion to fact but actually because the questions that are asked are so bewilderingly ass-backwards that to attempt a sensible answer would render you as much an idiot as the person posing the question.

 

I wouldn't want to date a person that was stupid enough to fall for this

After watching the commercials I decided to re-sign up for Eharmony.com. I wanted to look around and see what hind of women were filling out profiles. After filling out their LONG "chemistry" profile I was allowed to see my matches. Well not exactly, because in order to actually see the photos I would have to pay money!
I'm not sure who's in charge of Eharmony, but I suspect it's an ugly-person. Only an ugly person could defend such a pig-in-a-poke policy and the only way they could do it would be by calling people who disagree "shallow".

I really don't get it. Is this the way to run a business? Who does things this way? It's like trying to browse used cars whose descriptions are coming from the people trying to get rid of them!

Ah, online dating sites, you never fail me!

From the Plenty of Fish profile of:
magicalboxihave:

About Me

My father was a preacher until he started free basing. Now he just preaches to inanimate objects. I was a virgin until I was 28. Still a man has never made me cum. I masterbate a lot. like a teenage boy in fact. The other day i rubbed her raw. I had to smear vasoline all over it. I guess i should be embarrassed but i'm not. If you can do better then maybe i'll stop. I work in retail. Don't ask me what i sell because i won;t tell you.