"Did you hear that my Jenny got a drawing job with her art?"

I refuse to believe that I can be accused of "picking on" Archie "artists". How can I make fun of someone that is paid actual money for their drawings. But since they are paid actual money (that I paid them by purchasing the book) I feel that it is sometimes necessary to critique their form. From Jughead's Double Digest #126, copyright 2007, I found this:

 

Where do I start?

Anime is an art form from Japan, and in my opinion it should be left in the hands of the Japanese. When Americans try to do Anime they get their big, bulky American-hands on the pen and fuck everything all to hell. Unfortunately too many 20-somethings were raised on Anime that was readily available on TV, DVD and online. There were books that taught the tricks of drawing Anime and special art supplies. All this and still the round-eyes fuck it all up. I tried drawing in Anime style once and I realized that it wasn't natural to me, SO I FUCKING QUIT IT! Unfortunately the same cannot be said for this... "artist".

I don't know if the blame is still placed on men for women's low self-esteem and body issues. It used to be placed there, but I stopped listening about 15 seconds within the first nonsensical salvo. Men don't push Cosmo or Redbook or any other fashion magazine. At least not straight men. My theory is that gay men and straight women study fashion design and they all have the same terrible drawing style. You know that style that looks like tall thin police-sketches. Rather than learn how to draw they choose to look for "women" whose freakish bodies mimic the horrendous drawing style. Straight men don't like broomstick bodies. If you want to know what a man likes then look at a Hustler magazine. I'm afraid it's women who continue to propagate the whip-thin body form. Now, I can't make out the signature, but by the flowery writing it is clear that this was drawn by a woman. And this woman is not quite through growing up. There are a few points I'd like to make about the body form itself:

1) Say the average American girl of 16 has a head that is 8-inches high. If we look at this drawing and measure the number of heads it would take to reach from the crown of the head to the soles of the feet we come up with nine heads or 72 inches. That means that Sabrina here is six-feet tall. Her waist is six-inches across, which gives it a circumference of 18-inches. If she raised her hand in class her elbow would be six-inches above her head. Her feet are also six-inches long. With her proportions all I can think is that perhaps the artist was attempting to draw a deer.

Are we still blaming men for the body-issues thing? No? Good.

Aside from her freakish height-to-weight ratio she has a huge left hand. She could arm-wrestle an orangutan with that thing. What I find particularly disturbing is her left leg. Did she have an accident? Birth defect? If not then she needs to be sitting with her body facing us to get that leg angle to work.

As I said, I really can't make fun of someone who is possibly making a living as an artist, even if they still draw like they are in high-school art-class. At this point I seriously have to consider working for Archie comics. It's one of those jobs where you'd get to say, "Well, at least I can't do any worse than the last guy!"

Good night nurse!