It's a Texas thing

Definitions: "Female Man"

or

?

Customer service

This is an email exchange between myself and "Kate" from e-patches.com. The first contact was through an order-request form on their site where I detailed the number of patches and the design.  The first message was sent on 7/2 and the last from just today (7/18).  Please note that in most of these exchanges she takes 24 hours to reply. My words are in red.

 

 Hi, I was interested in getting a back-patch with my logo. The logo is a black symbol. I'd like it on a 10-inch circular white background, with the image itself being 8.5 inches tall within the circle. If you have a 10-12 inch white oval instead, that would be even better. Image attached. Thanks.

-Al Frank

 (24 hours later)
Hi

Thank You for the email

Could You tell me what shape of the overall patch does it need to be, please? Rectangle?

and how many items?

Hi, I thought I entered the info in the request form.  

I'd like it on a 10-inch circular white background, with the image itself being 8.5 inches tall within the circle. If you have a 10-12 inch white oval instead, that would be even better.

Yes, but how many items would You like?

Just one to start.

 (24 hours later)Hi
12" high oval
Design and setup - free
Price depends on quantity:
quantity: 1, price: $75.61 USD
quantity: 2, price: $47.52 USD per item, total: $95.04 USD
quantity: 3, price: $37.94 USD per item, total: $113.82 USD
quantity: 5, price: $30.05 USD per item, total: $150.25 USD
quotation no: 2A111285
Shipping: - $5 USD
Payment: Paypal (see www.paypal.com )
Please confirm price before design realization. You will need to approve our artwork before production.
It is also required 10% of total value to be pay before design realization.
Items will be dispatched within 10 - 15 working days after received cleared payment.

Can you do a mock-up so I can get an idea of the completed patch?

 (24 hours later)

Yes, before production and after fix some details and 10% deposit I'll send You a visualization.

Sounds good. It may look better on the round background, so I'll need to check.  I'll take 2 patches. What is your paypal payment address?

Ok, so knowing prices how many items would You like?

Kate... please check the earlier emails. I've already told you how many I wanted and requested your paypal address.

ah, yes, I'm sorry for confusion.

summary

quantity: 2, price: $47.52 USD per item, total: $95.04 USD
quotation no: 2A111285

12" high oval
white non-embroidered background
black logo and edges
sewn-on backing
shipping $5

Done. Please keep me updated. Thanks.

 (24 hours later)Thank You for 9.50 USD from Albert Frank's account.
Is it Your shipping addess?

Yes,

2001 S. IH35 #125

Austin, TX. 78741

 (7 days pass)

Kate

What's the progress on my order? Do you have a design jpeg for me to see?

Ah, I'm sorry for delay. It will be ready in 2-3 days
Kind Regards
Kate

I'm looking at your web-page and the way the process is done seems to be different than what we are doing here. On the web-page the steps were: Quote, approve design, then place order.

You asked me to order and send a deposit before I'd see the final design. I'm a bit wary at this point.

 (24 hours later)Hi
Is it correct?

It's a little close on the right side. Do you have it on a circular background for comparison?

It can be moved to left of course.
Regarding circle, then it should be 12 x 12 and will be a bit more expensive

If you reduce the image slightly and move a tad to the left it would be better. Can i see that?

 (24 hours later)How much would You like it smaller? 10x10, 11x11?

Kate, what I meant was to reduce the logo about 1/2 inch within the current sized oval.

 (24 hours later)Hi
There will be much empty place around then. Do You want such?

We seem to be having a communications problem here. Let's just go ahead and cancel the order. My Paypal acct address is amfiii@hotmail.com.

 (24 hours later)Well, just making visualization every time makes a lot of work, therefore my asking.

Please, just refund the 9 dollars.

I made the attached in 3 minutes.

We made Your visualization and can corrected it. Deposit isn't refundable but contain few changes of details
so just to move to left and shape of teh overall patch oval like on Your oval.gif sent 3 min ago?

Yes. If we can take care of this quickly then I will continue with the sale.

(24 HOURS LATER) 
ok, 12" high and more circle shape as on Your oval.gif?
I'm sorry for question, another option is logo in the same size as previous but size of overall oval larger

Kate, we've been talking about this project since July 2nd. I email you and it takes you a day to get back to me. That is not getting things done quickly. This is too much trouble for a patch. Keep the 9 dollars. I will go to another company for the patches,

I'm sorry for trouble, but therefore was all these questions it won't be necessary to make each time brand new design and it is made after changing size

I no longer want the patches from you. Thank you.

Workplace food scavenging

Security Guards take note: this is aimed at you!


I've been a workplace food forager/scavenger as long as I've worked nights. Finding calories around the jobsite is a hobby of mine and a fascinating one at that! Here are a few tips if you find yourself working alone at night.

-Cartons in the trash are promising. They have been known to hold things like cookies, chicken, bagels and more. The trash can is the most honest way to come by food but also the least dignified if you are caught.
-A step up from the trash can is the break-room table. This is where the leftover party and meeting goodies wind up. Surprisingly these goodies tend to stick around for a while because usually people stuff themselves with cake/chips/salsa etc and don't want to look at the leftovers.
-Candy dishes on people's desks are an excellent source of snacks. If you know your building properly then you know exactly which desks have candy and more likely than not, what kind. You are usually safe to take one piece per night from each of the dishes. Any more than that will draw unwanted attention.
-The trickiest yet often most rewarding of scavenged meals is the fridge raid meal. Fridges are often a goldmine of available food, however a few rules must be observed:
1) Go small. Try to build a meal of things external to the lunch-bags themselves.
2) Be aware of bulk containers. A box of crackers, an (open) package of cheese squares, a jar of pickles etc all add up to a meal.
3) Refrigerated party trays are pretty much free game. They will include cheese, veggies, and little sandwiches. Be sure to NEVER take the last bit as that will tip your hand.
4) Be polite when invading personal meals! This may sound like a paradox, but if you don't screw the lunch-owner over you can both be happy! Don't kill the goose that lays the golden egg! If someone leaves their leftover Chow-mien noodles in the fridge, check the amount. If there's still quite a bit then take a fork full, BUT NO MORE! If people notice someones been eating their food at night, then it's possible that you may soon wind up caught on hidden camera!

Speaking of which, be aware of your surroundings! Watch for cameras. Check the hallways for people. Listen for voices and footsteps. If you get caught then it's your own fault!

On a good night an industrious scavenger can successfully build a meal of:
Candy- 1 to 20 pieces depending on number of dishes.
Cheese- Sliced or cubed (1 slice or 1 out of 8 cubes)
Bread- One slice per loaf.
Crackers- 1 of every 10 in sleeve
Pickles- 1 of every 6 in jar.
Sodas- 1 If found in bulk or 1 frozen and swollen in freezer
Misc- Fast food chicken wings, poppers, etc (be sparing)

Add to this any leftover party food or trashed food and you've built yourself quite a meal!

So good luck, be safe and bon appetit!

Observation of the day

Daywalker Texas Ranger

Ever notice how pale, pink and red Chuck Norris is?

Walgreens pedicure

You go girl!

This is your future

I work in the Communications Building at the University of Texas. The other day I was cleaning one of the computer labs, used by the graduate-students when I saw this list on the wall:
 
A list of ways by which you would know that you are a graduate communications student. I will ask you to take note of number 7 on the list-

Now, unless they have mastered the art of slicing Champagne bottles with a sword, then I will take it for granted that a Graduate Communications-student has to phonetically spell "savoring".

Welcome to the future

You know why Jesus spoke to the thieves and whores?

Because (just like today) the so-called "respectable" people already knew every Goddamn thing, 

so he couldn't tell them shit!