You're just like me, only you get to sit down!

You would think that if you were going to start doing public-service announcements for a disease such as Cerebral Palsy you might do a little research on the disorder, or at least attempt to treat the characters in a dignified manner, right? Right?  Oh come on, this is an Archie comic. You should know better! Let's see how the Riverdale gang handles such a sensitive topic.

What they do is have their resident Sociopath, Reggie Mantle, challenge a wheelchair-bound Randy to a game of one-on-one. What kind of a kid's writer even comes up with a premise like that? And check out the look on Reggie's face-

Something tells me if Betty wasn't standing there, Reggie just might douse Randy in gasoline and set him ablaze! Seriously, there's something really wrong with the concept of Reggie. Look at his eyes! But does Randy fold under the deflating pressure of cruel reality? No, he accepts the challenge, and-

Okay... He rockets around the aggressive, egotistical jackass, with the speed and dexterity of... well, a person that doesn't have Cerebral Palsy. Have you ever been around someone with Cerebral Palsy? Obviously the Archie gang hasn't. CP patients aren't exactly known for their speed and dexterity, yet Randy here has managed to both outmaneuver and simultaneously exhaust a physically-healthy 17 year-old bully in (judging by Randy's speed) a matter of minutes.

 What do we learn from this, kids? Well, we learn 2 things:

1) People with Cerebral Palsy are a lot faster and more coordinated than other people. Hell maybe their "disease" is actually some sort of superpower, and they only sit down all the time to avoid injuring other people as a result of supersonic walking.

 2) Reggie is probably going to murder Randy in his sleep for showing him up. Y'know, cause that's what Sociopaths do.

It's not just cruel people like Reggie that are a problem for persons with CP. "Hildy" over here, has another problem.

 

Hildy here might not audition for the school production of Romeo and Juliet. But not because they didn't have wheelchairs in Shakespearean times and it would have been an awkward and foreign concept to his reality.You see, it's tough for Hildy to get around. Not because she has CP but because she doesn't have a ramp to the stage. Luckily the janitor happens to be standing there eavesdropping on students' conversations and holding his woodworking tools. Lucky Hildy! Svenson is on it!

Somehow Svenson manages to build a wheelchair ramp within the day's tryouts, without disrupting the auditions. He's good. Or maybe the Riverdale High kids just said, "fuck it, I ain't gonna tryout against a girl in a wheelchair. Only a dick would do that. Maybe Reggie was too homophobic to try out for a woman's part in a play cause that's the only reason he's not up there jamming a stick in her wheels, or calling her a "cripple". But what about Hildy? Why in the hell is she auditioning for this play? Do you know how much work would be involved in re-tooling Romeo and Juliet to accommodate a person in a wheelchair? Not to mention how confused and uncomfortable the whole thing would be for the audience? Come to think of it, maybe Reggie couldn't audition because he's already playing the part of a CP patient named Hildy!