Beautiful Peckerwoods
Starting out with nothing, as I did but a very nebulous idea of what was cool and a high degree of anxiety I was dropped headfirst and soft side down into West Texas. Hordes of blonde Amazons with bows in their hair and their massive gods driving along in new cars of foreign make. In this small-town. This tiny Paris or New York City they were important. Anyplace else they would have been considered hicks. I was like a baby a blank page as it all went by. I was in awe of Travis and his Mohawk and his bedroom you reached through
a trapdoor in his Grandparents' garage floor and down a ladder. I was 18 and in awe of this 16 year-old West Texan who had absorbed more than I had or so it looked out. I was like a blank page filling quickly a baby lusting loving, hypnotized by babyfat West Texas girls with part of their heads shaved like they had lobotomies. Girls that hung out with Mohawk Travis who thought this nerdy black guy was cool. Mods... The Lubbock Texas people in black. A fad of many started by homosexuals. So many confused sexless-girls and their skinny non-sexual boy-things having late-night get-togethers fueled by methamphetamine
which was brought in by outlaw bikers. Bikers that would stomp these people like kittens if they ever actually crossed their paths. But that never happened. 2 different worlds. Although I wound up hanging in places they separately frequented. Mods... So snooty and gay and the perfect targets that just begged to get beaten up but it never happened. These Texan young people in this fishbowl college town, trying to snoot us all with how cool and avant-garde they were. Sure they got the dance clubs packed with college pricks that were taking on the clove cigarette and black v-neck sweater mannerisms of this tiny group
of about a hundred confused jerkoffs who lived in back issues of Interview magazine. I'd hate to think that I was without a girl in the outside crowd because I was black, but I don't know. I don't know. Maybe it was because I was so desperate and sad. The dusty flatland magnifies the little lizard into a Gila monster so I'm Godzilla with my frohawk and engineer boots. My searching for something, something I needed to be a creative need a statement made something not so quiet so boring. West Texas College town Redneck-rich peckerwoods with their tanned noses in the air, smearing shit on the dorm bathroom walls or letting their vomit solidify on
the carpets and in the sinks because the school has Niggers and Mezkins to clean it up. Life is fun when things are just handed to you.